I came to this computer full of thoughts, but unable to generate any of them. I don't think anyone follows this, not even you. Maybe I shall, not rant so much at you. Not make my views so pervasive in your life. Maybe I shall, rant here.
Every morning, i wake up, i call you You always sound so listless, like a wave of ice just swept over you.
You sound like you wanna put the phone down immediately, like my voice are bullets to your ears.
You speak of negativity, you reek of it.
You can't sympathise w my plight, and u say i shld blame myself, for choosing to go overseas, and then missing home.
You say that i like to listen to nice things, and thats not reallity.
Yeap, i live in a world, not of reality. But what really is reality in this, our, relationship?
I love you. We know where our hearts lie, but we are just lost. Lost in a phase of our lives. Lost without direction. I know i've given up many things for you.
You are my life. Lets see.
During school days, life oscillated between work (study) and you.
During army, it was, book out, darling-time, book in. Look forward to book out, darling time, book in.
During university. hmm. haha. I dunid to say la, its about the same.
Many arguments we've had 1) The argument about possessiveness and jealous (sec 3,4 J2?)
2) The argument on the bed ( 18,19?)
3) The argument about cleanliness (rental house)
4) The argument about clubbing (late 19?)
5) The argument about how i never wanna do stuff that you wanna do (early 19?)
6) The argument about whether we were officially together? (sec 3,4)
7) The argument about yy ( December 2008)
8)
The argument about facebook 9)
The argument about 'too many i love yous, and not being able to be a friend'. The ones in
bold are unresolved.
The other 8. I nvr did actually bring them up, and if i did, they were rare.
Many a times, i compromised. Simply because i didn't wna change u. U don't like to change, and u believe that a person
shouldn't have to change for their better half in a relationship.
I believe that, if i love someone, that someone becomes more important den me.
Therefore, my
identity is unimportant. And if changing makes u happier, change all i will. Darling, gimme time, i will resolve the bolded arguments. I know more bolded arguments will appear, but someday, they will be
un-bolded. Thats me for u, u just nid to gimme a chance.
Novelty Lets talk about novelty. Back in sec 3,4. I put it down to novelty. Whether u like to hear it or not, thats my perception. It was a liking for novelty which took u away.
In hmm...18 years old? I rmb i tink it was november? We had another discussion, cause u found me boring.
Yea, i agree. Maybe i am. But then again it comes down to ur noveltiness.
Now, april 2011. I dno if its the exam, the projects, or the stress, but...u sure do seem uninterested.
My love is a self generation of yours for me. If u love me 'x', i love u '2x'.
Doesn't apply to parents. I would love my kid '100x' even if they return the love 'x'.
If one day u stop, i know i can feel it, and i know mine will decline. <3<3<3.
Till then it still belongs to you.
Okay, time to bathe. I honestly hope no1 reads this. I blog this simply because, i can't tell you these. You'd probably disagree w me. Yea, i know everyone has their own view. This is jsut mine. Simply mine.
P.s: Do u agree that...if ur partner says, i nvr forced u t change. But that was simply because, u changed even b4 she asked u to. Therefore she nvr needs to ask for u to change. For eg, if ur bf buys breakfast for u everyday, u NVR need to ask him to buy for u, because he always does it. But by not EVER asking him to buy bkfast for u, doesn't mean u nvr did make him buy bkfast. but simply because u nvr needed to ask. I change, but all u always say is, i nvr forced you to change. Yes u nvr did. U nvr had to. I moved faster than u could ever request. Does my argument hold? Sry, bad rant
Till then, still waiting to change. . . if u nd it.
