FIL's blog

Accn xam

2011-04-25T16:00:00.000+02:00

Today was accn exam. 1 down, 3 to go!
Fairly okay la, i still don't have the seh-ness i used to feel when i walked in / out of exam hall, buts its okay i guess. First year only.

going out for a swim ltr! Darling's too busy for me. I gta make myself busy so i won't think of her. Haha. Tough ah tough. Who wan try LDR for fun? Don't la. Not fun at all.

Here we go

2011-04-24T16:57:00.002+02:00

Xams start tml. Whahaha. I slaacked for the past 3 days liao, and don't plan to rush on e last day. Let tml come n go like all my other exams :)

I started swimming. AWESOME feeling! Tml swim agn =)

Awesome

2011-04-21T15:14:00.000+02:00

So, i was feeling really really zz. My mind was like boggling with stuff.

So i decided to take out my rosary, i haven't touched it in my room since i came to edinburgh.
But i'm surprised at how much it calms me down. Brings tears to my eyes, i don't know why.

Prayed for maturity and wisdom, not intellect and guile.
Pray to be a better man, and not a richer man.
Pray, because i really needed help.

Pain in e ....ear!

2011-04-21T01:30:00.000+02:00

Wa zz. Recently gt this very bad ear 'infection'. In apostrophes only because i think its ear infection and i'm not very sure.
Hahas. Still can hear what people say but i now have to sleep only on 1 side of my face. Cause i can't even touch my ear, hurts like zz.

So when i go back to Sg, darling has to sleep on my...right! Yea, we gotta change sleeping positions for awhile. =D

Life's boring, but i'm down to the 20s!! Where x is the no. of days to going home, x<30!!!!
Accn exam in 4 days, fk that. Math is the killer.

Ready, start, go!

2011-04-18T12:26:00.000+02:00

'The red lights seem to be on for an eternal time, and gogogoog! Vettel is off to a bad start. Button into the lead, Hamilton, aggressive into turn 1. Pushes Vettel off the racing line. Now Rosberg up side by side against Vettel. Horrifying start for our pole starter - Vettel.'

So, now the exams have started. Yea i'm starting slow. Kinda like Mark webber, starting in 18th. haha. But no fear, gt 54 laps t win the race, and for my case, 31 days to make it all happen =)

So lets gogogo! The race is on. The coveted price at the end of the rainbow. C ya there =)

Break time =?

2011-04-17T00:40:00.000+02:00

So this is how a normal day goes about nowadays!!

I wake up at 10! I do my stuff until 1130.
Go to Microlab, to study. Its a kinda library in our accommodation area.
So i study until about 7+/8/9/10, depending on my mood!
So wad do i do during my break time after i end my day!!

Wahahah. I pack. Packing my luggage has become one of my happiest activities recently. Seeing the things disappear from the room,
Seeing my luggages become heavier.
i'm kinda scared i cannot bring it home though. Too freaking much stuff. zzz

OOOs

2011-04-15T11:38:00.001+02:00

http://lifestyle.xin.msn.com/en/sex-relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=4772763&page=9

Gabriel likey :)

A new quote to live by

2011-04-14T23:45:00.000+02:00

Don't start a new day with someone you love if you can't finish another whole year with her. If i start 15/4/2011 loving you, make sure i can be with you till 14/4/2012.

Honestly, i don't care where you came from. I don't care how u look. I don't care what you do. I don't care if u make me sad.

I know i love u.
Btw, where the fk did this photo come from? The best kiss i've had on camera i tink in 6 years =)

To my beautiful girl =)

Commitment

2011-04-14T13:47:00.002+02:00

Does over commitment make you unhappy? If it does, will me changing it make u more happy? But changing that makes me unhappy.
Isn't there a way to come to a compromise?

A post totally for you

2011-04-13T21:13:00.005+02:00

Spend a whole life with 1 girl, and 1 girl only.

To lie beside you day after day. I know i won't get bored of you.

To give u a hundred percent and more.

I wish i could ask for nothing, but i'm not that noble a man. But what i ask for is just that simple. Your attention, your love, your care and concern.

You were asking me to understand the logic of kite flying. Haven't i let enough go? Haven't i not asked for anything?

Does being overseas really change alot of things? Do you really wanna let nature take its course? I know that i'd work harder to maintain it.

But its realy tiring to be the only 1 working and running and trying. A rs after all is nothing but a two-man team.

No matter how dissed i get with you, how irritated i am, how disappointed, i know, i only love 1 girl in this past 20.5 years of my life. Nvr regretted, nvr wanted someone else.

So through the good times, and the bad, the tough, and the easy. I want you. I really do.

Highlanders!

2011-04-11T22:56:00.002+02:00

I'm officially a highlander!!
Went to the 3D2N trip. Really really tiring. Organized by Singsoc! =D
Its an awesome place except for the last bus ride back, where i held my pee in for over an hour. I seriously haven't held it for so long in such a long time.

Anyway, its awesome, how you can miss, want and love someone so much.
It Really is.
My girl looks so freaking pretty i can't wait to go back so i can take her out and show off. I know she doesn't believe me when i compliment her, but it comes from the bottom of my heart =)
Problems are problems, but whats an rs without problems eh?

Okay back to highlands, what did we NOT see! We didn't see Nessie!!!
WHY!
Because i hid nessie in my pants. shhh
TTFN!

bladder

2011-04-11T17:39:00.001+02:00

Have u ever been on a bus w a full bladder? It sucks

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Is 1 always 1?

2011-04-08T23:01:00.003+02:00

I was just walking back w my sister. We were looking at the moon.
So i was just saying, the moon looks really pretty.
And she says 'no! That same crescent moon appears once every 15 days. How can it be pretty. its not like it appears once in a year!'
So i was thinking, is beauty relative? Is there absolute beauty?

I always tell my darling she looks pretty. But by looking pretty everyday, does that take any gloss off her beauty?
Nope.
Its novelty that eclipses beauty. Its the concept of relativity that kills beauty. Its the notion of 'over n over again' that corrodes beauty.
How can one thing that looked pretty to you before, suddenly not look pretty?
Nope. The person still is the same, and you haven't changed. Its just, perception.
Every once in 15 days, i see a crescent moon, i say its beautiful.
Everyday i see my girl, i say she's beautiful. You don't look any less beautiful just because u look beautiful everyday.

You don't have to up your game for the person you love, because the person who loves you shouldn't ever have to think twice about your beauty

just missing home

2011-04-08T01:56:00.002+02:00

Here's boulder. I think he was...6? Still my little boulder in my heart. I think he made me wna have my own 3 kids.

Hehe, this is in australia oso. Australia of...2007? I think we were going back to that hilltop resort. Awesome place. i wanna go back there.

I think this was taken, when we were trying suits for 20th year wedding aniversary. The uber grand one. Hmm, was in 2008? Probably september if my memory is good.

Australia 2007!!! My favourite gold coast and i think this is movieland! My kids have to go there next time.

Ah hah! I think oso at the suit trying place. Most sibly shot i have.

Hmmm. I have a new past time. Its called packing. When i take a study break, i pack my luggage. Seeing my room empty, reminds me that this is just home away from home. Home at home is where home is supposed to be home. =)

Sry, chimology.

7+4=11. 07042011

2011-04-08T00:46:00.008+02:00

I came to this computer full of thoughts, but unable to generate any of them. I don't think anyone follows this, not even you. Maybe I shall, not rant so much at you. Not make my views so pervasive in your life. Maybe I shall, rant here.
Every morning, i wake up, i call you
You always sound so listless, like a wave of ice just swept over you.
You sound like you wanna put the phone down immediately, like my voice are bullets to your ears.
You speak of negativity, you reek of it.
You can't sympathise w my plight, and u say i shld blame myself, for choosing to go overseas, and then missing home.
You say that i like to listen to nice things, and thats not reallity.
Yeap, i live in a world, not of reality. But what really is reality in this, our, relationship?
I love you. We know where our hearts lie, but we are just lost. Lost in a phase of our lives. Lost without direction. I know i've given up many things for you.

You are my life. Lets see.
During school days, life oscillated between work (study) and you.
During army, it was, book out, darling-time, book in. Look forward to book out, darling time, book in.
During university. hmm. haha. I dunid to say la, its about the same.

Many arguments we've had
1) The argument about possessiveness and jealous (sec 3,4 J2?)
2) The argument on the bed ( 18,19?)
3) The argument about cleanliness (rental house)
4) The argument about clubbing (late 19?)
5) The argument about how i never wanna do stuff that you wanna do (early 19?)
6) The argument about whether we were officially together? (sec 3,4)
7) The argument about yy ( December 2008)
8) The argument about facebook
9) The argument about 'too many i love yous, and not being able to be a friend'.

The ones in bold are unresolved.
The other 8. I nvr did actually bring them up, and if i did, they were rare.
Many a times, i compromised. Simply because i didn't wna change u. U don't like to change, and u believe that a person shouldn't have to change for their better half in a relationship.
I believe that, if i love someone, that someone becomes more important den me.
Therefore, my identity is unimportant. And if changing makes u happier, change all i will. Darling, gimme time, i will resolve the bolded arguments. I know more bolded arguments will appear, but someday, they will be un-bolded. Thats me for u, u just nid to gimme a chance.

Novelty
Lets talk about novelty. Back in sec 3,4. I put it down to novelty. Whether u like to hear it or not, thats my perception. It was a liking for novelty which took u away.
In hmm...18 years old? I rmb i tink it was november? We had another discussion, cause u found me boring.
Yea, i agree. Maybe i am. But then again it comes down to ur noveltiness.
Now, april 2011. I dno if its the exam, the projects, or the stress, but...u sure do seem uninterested.
My love is a self generation of yours for me. If u love me 'x', i love u '2x'.
Doesn't apply to parents. I would love my kid '100x' even if they return the love 'x'.
If one day u stop, i know i can feel it, and i know mine will decline. <3<3<3.
Till then it still belongs to you.

Okay, time to bathe. I honestly hope no1 reads this. I blog this simply because, i can't tell you these. You'd probably disagree w me. Yea, i know everyone has their own view. This is jsut mine. Simply mine.

P.s: Do u agree that...if ur partner says, i nvr forced u t change. But that was simply because, u changed even b4 she asked u to. Therefore she nvr needs to ask for u to change. For eg, if ur bf buys breakfast for u everyday, u NVR need to ask him to buy for u, because he always does it. But by not EVER asking him to buy bkfast for u, doesn't mean u nvr did make him buy bkfast. but simply because u nvr needed to ask. I change, but all u always say is, i nvr forced you to change. Yes u nvr did. U nvr had to. I moved faster than u could ever request. Does my argument hold? Sry, bad rant

Till then, still waiting to change. . . if u nd it.

18/11

2010-11-18T13:05:00.001+01:00

This date feels very familiar somehow. Zzz cant put an event to e date. Sian

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24/10/10

2010-10-24T22:48:00.002+02:00

Today, is a sunday. My weekend was spent ... nua-ing. Really nua-ing. I haven't picked up a book since friday, except for jap book. =x

Why can't i pick the book up? Cuz u're running all over my mind.
Ppl were wrong when they said i'll miss the food back home.
Ppl were wrong when they said i'll miss my house back home.
But ppl were right when they said i'll miss my family, my girlfriend, my friends.
Its not the comfort of having domestic helpers, nor the luxury of good meals and free transport.
It ain't about the lcd tv, or unlimited channels to watch
Nor about the PS3 which sits alone in my room.
Its about the people at home, the people in camp, the girl sitting for me in her living room.

A-ma, who nvr failed to keep wishing me luck before i go. Dno whether she love me or what la. But since i'm her grandson, i guess love transcends generations
A-yi, who doesn't fail to get me what I want, or what I need. For example : 'I need a car, can borrow anot?'. Nvr will she say 'no', nor even hesitate. The most you get is, be safe. The best u get is, you need me to come home earlier to pass u the car anot? OR!! U drive me to work la den i can take mrt home. But tt isn't why i think about her, its more about the motherly love i get.
Aunty Marie! Who turns any place into a comfortable little nook. I can't say that I haven't been appreciative, but i know what a force she is in the domestic helper industry. A third mum to me, she's the one person who would probably epitomize home, since she's always at home. hahas
Sister - pronouced as CIS-TA! Surprisingly, even though after she's grown up and we can talk about relationships and stuff, i still miss my brother - pronounced as BRO-DER more. Why do i miss my sister then? AHHH! No one to quarrel with? No one to buy things for? No one to pester me? No one to say good nite kor kor anymore. No one to introduce new songs to me, nor gimme a goodnite hug.
Bro-der. He is so strong i can probably fight him to train for fighting other guys my age. He is probably the only person at home who can make me smile back into the camera. Not because the others aren't nice, but because he is so cute. 11 year age gap may sound astoundingly huge, but actuaally it ain't. Its about how much you wanna connect at each n every level. Plus i'm extra childish...so...h ahaa
Mother and father. Haha. Father first la. Father because he offers help but yet knows when to retract it so that i can grow up. Yea, always there but yet not always there. Something like that la. Plus of course the comfort of his driving, or more recently, his car.
Mother. Dunid to say la. Everyone knows how much i love my mum. Love = sure miss.
But also because she smoothens out my life so much, without her, my life seems so much bumpier.
Wan Joo darling. Yeea, thats what u're named in my phonebook. But who cares about your name, i don't think i've called u by ur name for 5 years. Have i? For family politics, u're the 2nd girl in my heart. But to me, you know where you stand. You know.
So, why do i miss u? Haha. I dno. No one to disturb me on wkends, no gf obligation to fulfill. Life shld b pretty much smoother without u right? But, no. Why? cause, u are a part of my life. Blog vows are stupid. But like all other army exercises like EX BV, its stupid and meaningless when you're doing it. But on hindsight, (hindsight is very powerful), U realise its meaning. So my blog vow will be, 'to hold you for all of eternity, and if not till time shall cease to exist. To love you as I do myself, and if not till I shan't exist.'

Girls make hearts race. But whats a race, when you would set mine ablaze.

Your love

2010-10-18T03:14:00.002+02:00

Its really not about the ring around my finer.
Nor about the flowers wrapped in fancy paper.
Not about the promises you made
Nor those you broke.
Not even about the things you said, or didn't say.

Cause I gave you everything when I told you i love you.
And the love you returned,
is the greatest thing of all.

But i couldn't ask for more, your love is the greatest gift of all. :)
Beautiful song eh. =)
Your love - Jim Brickman.

argh

2010-10-06T20:30:00.001+02:00

Read e eulogiea. Touching sia. Is the woman i love a woman worth loving? Guess so. No i know so.

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mobile costs

2010-10-06T14:43:00.001+02:00

So pissed. It goes like this. I hold 3 phones. One sg no. For receiving msges. Two uk numbers. One for mesaaging within uk. E other for calling anywhere n msging out of uk. This is to get the cheapeat combi la. So i called home ytd. My norml calling phone network was busy. So i used my other uk umber. I called home. No one picked uo. I was charged 1.7 pounds. Thts 3.5 sing. Zzz. So damn pissed. Hahas. Ranting ramting

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Desperate

2010-10-05T08:52:00.002+02:00

Yesterday was probably the one feeling i haven't felt in ... 1 month?
The feeling of wanting you so badly by my side.
The feeling of being in your embrace.
The feeling of security.
What its like to be safe.

Yesterday the images flowed back to me.
Memories, after all, don't get washed away so easily, at least not in a month.

Lips impressed on lips.
Hands clasped.
No space for words to flow.
All under the cover of darkness.
For no one but you and me to see.

Now that its hit me so hard once again,
I know i have to say,
i miss you, and.
i love you.

Okay, i've got it of my chest.
School school here i come.

I'm officially increasing my school hours from 17-19 hrs a week...perhaps.
Lets see!

4 hours of econs.
4 hours of accountancy
5 hours of math
2 hours of night classses on democracy
2 hours of jap on thursday.
Perhaps another 2 hours of French on wednesday.

19/5 = 4? 4 hours a day?
Thats not good enough man. Gta push push.
One day splitting of time =
1/3 : sleeping
1/3 : eating + Travelling + Using com
1/3 : studying.

Thats 8 hours a day. Which means 4 hours of self study a day. Wah!
Yesterday i did ... 4 hours of school in the morning,
half an hour of math in the afternoon
2 hours of democracy at night
another half hour of math
and 3 hours of econs.
That equals to = 10 hours of mind bogglingness.

No wonder my brain couldn't seem to let you go yesterday.
Overworked.
Your love is my drug : By kesha, from gabriel to you my girl.

Run Devil Run

2010-10-01T22:13:00.002+02:00

The devil is running within me.

Ever tried running down the streets in a foreign country?

With the cars honking, the people staring, the beads of sweat forming, the muscles cramping.

The constant slip-slap of your flip flops seem to leave behind a trail of memories that fade away so fast with the rain. Can everything stand the test of time?

Dno what i saying. I just ran. wahahas. I had to return ONE DVD to a shop. I decided to run, cause it was too frigging cold, and I friggin didn't want to walk. Hahas. I gotta do it more often. =)

:-)

2010-09-29T16:22:00.001+02:00

:-) shop shop.

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shopping!

2010-09-24T17:29:00.001+02:00

Oh. Shopping! I bot one book. One slipeer and one shoe.. wagahahah. I saw nice things for darling, but dun dare to buy. Darling encourge me abit more den i buy and send back to u k! Oh? I think im beginning to enjoy shopping? Shld i club btw. Or do tutorials! Kns s hard to decide

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Raining

2010-09-23T01:13:00.003+02:00

Its raining tonight. Since the first night I got here, it hasn't rained.
Rain = Emo time.
But yet i don't need to be emo to know that i miss you.

Anyway, life's good. Other than the fact that i'm freezing... Really cold. And its only the beginning of autumn.
Today is zhong qiu jie eh? So random. I didn't even see the moon today. How happy is that?

Mummy tasks me to find out more about mei mei's university of Heriott Watt. Thats nice eh? Its 40 mins away from me.

I just sorta finished reading. Shld i continue with economics now? Or sleep? zz. Shag sia.

Lets dedicate the next 5 mins to god, den the next 5 mins to darling and then i shall sleep! good good.

Bye people. U really shldn't be reading emo posts. Its unhealthy for you.

waiting

2010-09-22T14:33:00.001+02:00

what am i doing waiting for someone whos having dance!
typing is sill so difficult. screw it i still love u mre den i can imagine.

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poker and love

2010-09-11T19:11:00.001+02:00

lose munny agn. haha. like shyt
btw i love u girl

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ho

2010-09-08T15:47:00.001+02:00

ho
ho